From Overwhelmed Mum to Mindfully Me: Finding Balance in the Chaos

There was a time when “balance” meant making sure I had a minute to myself in the toilet before a toddler disaster struck. Work-life balance? Self-care? Those felt like things other people did and got right — mums, who weren’t drowning in housework, deadlines, and snack negotiations with two small but determined humans.

When I became a mum, I lost myself without even realising it. My identity slowly shifted from Priya to Mum, and while I adored my boys, I often felt like I was running on empty, feeling out of control and lost. The pressure to be everything to everyone—nurturing mother, supportive wife, reliable friend, high-achieving professional — was relentless. Somewhere between keeping on top of school emails and responding to messages, I forgot to check in with the one person holding it all together: Me.

The Cultural Tug-of-War

As a South Asian woman, motherhood came with an extra layer of complexity. I was raised with strong values around family, duty, and sacrifice—where a “good mother” is selfless, endlessly giving, and always putting her children first. And yet, I also grew up in the UK, where modern parenting celebrates independence, self-care, and balance.

The result? A constant tug-of-war between what I was taught, what society expects, and what I actually needed. Was I selfish for wanting time for myself? Was I a bad mum for wanting more? Was I failing if I didn’t follow the parenting advice passed down through generations?

It was exhausting. And confusing.

The Overwhelm is Real

Motherhood is beautiful, but let’s be honest—it’s also relentless. The mental load is never-ending, the expectations are sky-high, and the guilt? It’s practically built-in.

• Didn’t cook a fresh meal every night? Guilt.

• Took time for yourself instead of spending every moment with the kids? Guilt.

  
  

For years, I thought that if I just tried harder, got more organised, woke up earlier than the kids (and I hate mornings) to seize the day that I’d finally feel in control. Instead, I just felt more exhausted. Something had to change.

How Mindfulness & Coaching Changed Everything

My turning point came when I discovered mindfulness—not just as a practice, but as a way of being. And I don’t mean the “sit in silence and clear your mind” kind, I mean the real-life, practical, keep-you-sane-in-the-chaos, simple mindful moments kind.

Over the years mindfulness and coaching taught me that I didn’t have to live up to everyone else’s expectations. I just had to trust myself. I started to:

• Tune out the noise of cultural and societal pressures.

• Trust my instincts instead of waiting for validation.

• Stop parenting from a place of fear (of judgment, of “getting it wrong”) and start parenting with confidence.

It wasn’t about adding more to my plate, it was about giving myself permission to do things my way.

From Survival to Thriving

As I deepened my mindfulness practice and coaching journey, something shifted.

• I became a calmer, more present parent.

• The endless guilt? It started to fade or I turned it around because guilt isn't a bad feeling as a mum, it just means I care.

• The stress of trying to meet impossible expectations? I let it go.

• And the biggest surprise? I started to find myself again—not just as a mum, but as Priya. The woman who still had dreams, passions, and a purpose beyond the daily grind. That shift changed everything.

  
  

The Modern Motherhood Dilemma

Mothers today are expected to do it all—to be fully present, raise resilient kids, have a thriving career, keep the home running, and somehow stay sane. The pressure is unreal.

But here’s the truth: Balance isn’t about doing it all. It’s about knowing what truly matters and letting go of the rest. It’s about dropping the unrealistic expectations, setting boundaries that protect your energy, and realising that self-care isn’t selfish—it’s essential.

And when you take care of yourself, you’re not just a better mum, you’re a happier, more fulfilled YOU. And that changes everything. How you feel, how you show up and how you parent.

So if you’re reading this and feeling like you’ve lost yourself in the chaos of motherhood, know this: You don’t have to stay stuck. You don’t have to do it alone. And balance is possible — even if your tea still goes cold sometimes.